Thursday, March 15, 2007

I took a shower LADY!!

Okay, so only this would happen to me. I am sitting in the hospital awaiting my ultrasound along with THE most obnoxious husband of one of the other ladys. This guy is eating chips at 8:10 am in a waiting room with a bunch of pi$$ed off, drugged up, angry women. To top it all off he has a cold and insists on snuffing his nose every 30-40 seconds!! I felt like Elaine from Seinfeld in that episode when she is stuck between two annoying guys on the plane and Jerry is whooping it up in first class with the model. I was actually talking to myself under my breath and saying "self, that guys has one more minute before I have at him..." CANDICE HANNAH!! Ohh great I am up next, so I follow the wand witch (this is her knick name cause she is not all that gentle with the ultrasound wand (they are vaginal ultrasounds. She leaves the room so I can get undressed and hop up on the table and assume the position. As I am laying there I can hear what I think is a really loud pee'er. So in she comes with a mask on. None of the other lady's have ever wore a mask!! See the title of this post for my thoughts. She must have saw the look on my face cause she then explained that she had a sore throat and that is why she is wearing the mask. Okay, fine, then we begin. After about 2 minutes of her taking measurements she stops and puts the back of her hand to her forehead and leaves it there for about 15 seconds. What do I have a tumor??!! After she lets out a deep breath she continues for about 15 more seconds and then suddenly yanks out the wand and says, "I have to stop, I'm sorry, sorry." As she is running from the room she is repetedly apologizing and disappears. I hear the bathroom door slam and then I hear her spew her guts out!!! Should I be insulted!!!??? She was hung over!! It wasn't a loud pee'er I heard earlier it was her yacking. She was wearing the mask to hide her barf breath. Anyways, here I am lying there, naked from the waist down, a$$ elevated, waiting for almost 10 minutes when another women comes in and finishes. I hope I don't get the wand witch again!! My follies are almost there and I may trigger tomorrow. I will know by late afternoon and will post then.

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